


The mute voice sings the loudest

by charliederidder



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Attempt at Humor, Blaine Anderson & Cooper Anderson Friendship, Blaine Anderson & Sam Evans Friendship, Blaine Anderson & Tina Cohen-Chang Friendship, Blangst, Character Development, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Multi, Mute Blaine Anderson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27176119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charliederidder/pseuds/charliederidder
Summary: Blaine Anderson was fourteen years old when his parents died right in front of him during a fire. Ever since then he hasn't been able to talk, no matter how badly he wanted to. Now, after two years of being homeschooled by his older brother Cooper, he finally takes his therapist's advice to attend a normal school. William McKinley High.Will the Glee Club be able to help him find his voice back? Or will he be the one helping out the others?This all takes place during season two. All of the events happen, except Kurt doesn't transfer and Blaine is in the background having a rather big impact on the plot of each episode.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Mike Chang/Tina Cohen-Chang, Noah Puckerman/Lauren Zizes, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Sam Evans/Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Comments: 7
Kudos: 21





	1. Episode 1; The Audition

**Author's Note:**

> The title of each chapter means what episode this takes place in. If you want to, you can watch them to refresh your memory before reading the chapter, so you can see what difference mute Blaine has on the plot.

Blaine Anderson used to be a boy who wouldn't stop listening to music. He would dance around in his room and sing along with the lyrics as loud as he could, not bothering to soften the noise of the music since their house was big enough for it to be drowned out by the many walls and doors between each room. Sometimes his older brother Cooper would join in, which mostly ended up in a fight about how the dance steps should be and who was going to sing a certain part of the song. 

When he wasn't at home, Blaine was still singing. He was part of the school choir during primary and middle school and even went to join the church, even though he and his family didn't even believe in God, just so he could sing.

But here he was; in the office of Emma Pillsbury, not even being able to tell her his own name. He was vaguely listening to his brother and the woman who sat in front of him talk about the trauma and the consequences of it, thinking about everything and nothing -it didn't matter what, as long as it wasn't about how he lost his voice and the events of that day. 

‘Blaine?’ He heard his brother call him with the softest tone manageable, like the older man had been doing ever since the accident. He slowly looked up at him with a questioning look in his eyes. ‘Did you hear what Miss Pillsbury just said?’ Blaine kept staring at Cooper, before slowly shaking his head.

As he looked at his older brother, he noticed that Cooper had never looked more adultlike than he did now. The ten year difference between the two was never an issue, and when they were having fun it was barely even noticeable. But now, Cooper looked more like a twenty six year old than he ever did in his entire life. The way he stood, talked, looked and protected Blaine was mature. Now that Blaine was looking up at him, he didn’t feel like an older brother anymore. He felt like a father.

And that feeling secretly hurt.

‘I said that I think it might be best if you give every teacher a note at the beginning of the classes so they won’t call on you,’ Miss Pillsbury said as she laid all of her pencils in one neat row next to each other. 

‘Do you mind having to do group projects?’ She continued, rubbing a tiny spot of dirt with a tissue. Blaine simply shrugged before shaking his head. In that case he can at least get a bit more human interaction than the past two years, when the only people talking to him were his brother, therapist and neighbour.

‘Alright, I guess everything is settled then,’ Miss Pillsbury stood up and grabbed a piece of paper from the printer. ‘Here is your schedule,’ She said as she handed him the paper, ‘and here,’ she grabbed something from a neatly organised box, ‘is a pamphlet on how to make new friends.’

Cooper snorted at the sight of the pamphlet, and Blaine hoped Miss Pillsbury didn’t hear it. When it seemed to be that she didn’t as she practically shoved them out of the door with an encouraging smile, he nudged his older brother in the stomach. 

‘Hey! At least I didn’t embarrass you in front of your new classmates.’ Blaine let out a huff of relief at the thought of Cooper leaving in a few minutes. He could practically feel the devilish smirk the older man was giving him from behind. ‘Or,’ he continued, making the word extra long just to be annoying, ‘I can stay a little bit longer and tell the whole school how great of a little brother you are.’

Blaine’s eyes widened and he looked up at his older brother with pleading fear in his eyes. Cooper held up his hands in defense. ‘Whoa, don’t give me that face! You know I hate those puppy eyes.’ When he added a bit more sadness into his look, Blaine finally managed to convince his brother. 

‘Alright fine, but I am going to stick around a little longer. These girls are looking good.’ When his younger brother gave him a judgemental look, Cooper snorted. ‘What? You see those cheerleaders over there?’ He nodded towards a small group of girls that were giggling and taking glances at him. Blaine nodded with a roll of his eyes. 

‘Those girls dedicate their high school career to cheerleading, they practically forget about doing schoolwork. I bet they all failed their graduation, so they’re eighteen. Which means legal to date.’ As Cooper smiled and waved at the girls who practically melted over his bright white teeth, Blaine could not help but roll his eyes at the way his brother talked about cheerleading as if it was the most cheesy tv-show to ever exist. 

Just as he was about to walk away from the sickening sight, a weird figure caught his eye. It was a boy with glasses and the weirdest hair Blaine had ever seen. He was holding a microphone and talked to a camera. 

‘Up here. Come on. Focus,’ the boy said to the other one holding the camera as he struggled with a board in his hands. ‘Okay. Hi I’m Jacob Ben Israel with Glee’s big gay summer with all the Glee Club dish you’re dying to know.’ Glee Club?

‘But first, let’s take a walk to that hot dish over there.’ For just a second Blaine thought that Jacob was walking towards him, but then he realised he was talking about Cooper. He smirked to himself when his brother immediately did his paparazzi smile towards the camera.

‘Rumour has it that you have already been chosen to be the hottest student of the year. Have you chosen a girl to go out with yet? A whole line is waiting to get a taste of what the girls call the body of a God.’ Cooper chuckled and did his infamous smolder towards the camera. ‘I’ll let you know ladies,’ he answered in a deep voice.

‘Is he even a student here?’ A boy with a mohawk asked as he passed by with a judgemental look. The camera turned to Blaine, who shook his head with the most annoyed expression to ever be seen. 

\--------> ~ <\--------

As Blaine walked around the hallways, trying to find out where exactly his classes were, he couldn’t help but notice a long line of girls eagerly waiting for something. One of the girls had -God knows why- feathers in her mouth and a few others seemed to be praying. What are they waiting for? Blaine thought. He walked past the line to see a huge sign up sheet for the Cheerios. Next to it was an empty sheet for the Glee Club. So he didn’t hear it wrong, there is a Glee Club.

Along with his voice also his attitude had disappeared two years ago. Where normally he would have signed up with his chin high up in the air, thinking he would beat everyone within seconds with his voice, he was now doubting if he even could join. Sure, the sheet said no tryouts, just sign up, and sure, he could just be dancing and swaying in the background, he was sure that someone without a voice wouldn’t even be allowed to join a club where it’s all about singing.

Sighing, he leaned against the wall and started to look through his weekly schedule. After being homeschooled for two whole years, having to be around people for five whole days a week was really heavy. Of course it was to every introvert, but still.

‘Hey why so glum William, cat crap in your coffee? Or are you worried no one is signing up for your little club here?’ A female voice said. Blaine looked up to see two teachers talking. It seemed like the man was a bit torn up as he looked at the Glee sheet. This is about Glee, let’s eavesdrop.

‘Not at all Sue. Nationals are in New York City this year. I think that list is gonna be filled up in no time.’ Are you sure about that?

‘You know what your problem is? No tryouts, just sign up! Nobody wants to be a part of a club that just anyone can join. See this? It’s a court summons- child endangerment. There’s been a line out there since late July. One girl ate a pigeon,’ Well that explains a lot, Blaine thought. 

As the woman -whose name Blaine assumed to be Sue- kept ranting on about how many girls wanted to join the cheerios he was wondering if he could still join the club. The teacher seemed to be pretty positive about the people who could join. Even Blaine?

‘Sorry Sue, anyone who wants to join Glee club, gets to join.’ That felt like Blaine’s cue to walk down the halls with a smile on his face for the rest of the day. The smile remained until lunch, where he sat outside at a table all by himself. It just reminded him of how lonely he was. That plus every sympathetic look he got from teachers whenever he handed them the note. One of them told the class about him being mute, so he was certain that soon he would be known as That Kid Who Can’t Talk. 

Suddenly, music was heard all over the school ground. A group of kids -eleven to be exact- came dancing down the steps in the worst outfits Blaine had ever seen in his life, but they were singing and rapping to the song New York. That made it a lot better. Blaine smiled and watched the group with amazement. He tapped along with his feet and snapped his fingers every now and then, but now matter how badly he wanted to sing along, he just couldn’t.

The group vocalised at the end of the song and did a pose as if they were waiting for applause. No one even looked up at them so Blaine put the last piece of bread into his mouth and stood up. He walked past them as he flung his backpack around his shoulders and gave them a thumbs up with a smile. No matter how small the gesture was, the Glee club seemed to be very grateful for it. 

\--------> ~ <\--------

Blaine was putting his books in his locker as he felt someone tap him on his shoulder. He turned around to see a boy who was at least ten inches taller than he was. Blaine wasn’t small -he knew that, so that meant that the boy in front of him was probably like the giant of the school. Still kind of amazed by the height, he almost missed the tall boy talking to him.

‘Hey, I saw that you enjoyed our performance during lunch so I was wondering if you would like to join Glee Club. If you didn’t know, I am Finn Hudson, I’m the quarterback so everything I do is cool and you have to believe me on this one. It's really awesome and we do all kinds of music.’ That was the moment that Blaine began to doubt again. What if he wouldn’t be accepted after they realised he wasn’t able to talk?

It seemed like Finn saw the doubt in the smaller boy’s eyes since he began to rant even more. ‘Even if you don’t like to sing you can still dance and make music. We are with an amazing group of people and the nationals are in New York City this year. It would be great if you could join us when we go there.’ 

Blaine started to grin slightly at the thought of him going to New York to make music again like he always used to- even if he had to do it without his voice. Finn’s eyes flashed with a spark of hope by the look on Blaine’s face. ‘So… are you in or out?’ As a response the smaller boy just held out his fist. Finn smiled and returned the box before turning around to walk away.

‘That means yes right?’ He asked as he turned around again. Blaine smiled and nodded. 

A sudden yell from the other side of the hallway made him turn around. He saw a girl being pushed by another girl, her body making a clunking noise when she collided with the lockers. ‘You did this to me. You told coach Sylvester about my summer surgery!’ A hispanic looking girl yelled with anger in her voice.

Blaine got a bit closer until he was up front of the circle that was being formed around the two girls. ‘You have a surgery when you get your appendix out. You. Got. A boob job,’ The blonde girl said. ‘Yep, sure did.’ Hispanic responded as she slapped the other cheerio in her face. 

‘You can’t hit me!’  
‘Oh sure I can, unless you got yourself knocked up again, slut!’ Before Blaine knew it, both girls were pushing each other against the lockers and pulled on each other’s ponytails. ‘Stop the violence,’ another blonde cheerio next to him said. 

When the blonde girl got pushed to the ground, the Glee teacher -whose name apparently was Mr. Schuester- came rushing in, pulling her back up again. ‘Hey! Hey! What is this? What happened to us being a family? Hey!’ He yelled as he struggled with keeping both girls apart. 

‘Oh please! She has a family! She’s a mother!’ Hispanic yelled mockingly. ‘Walk away! And tighten up your pony before you get to class!’ Blonde screamed as she struggled in the teacher’s grip. 

‘That was like two rainbows having a fight,’ The blonde girl next to Blaine said. ‘It’s true because Santana is lesbian.’ Before he had time to respond as best as he could, the girl was already walking down the hallway, ponytail swaying behind her. 

\--------> ~ <\---------

‘Well hate to break it to you but it doesn’t seem like anyone’s gonna be joining us so I think we should just call it a day,’ A female voice said from the classroom where Blaine was standing outside of. He recognised that voice; it belonged to Rachel Berry, the well-known diva of the New Directions.

Wait, were they talking about Glee Club? Was that today?

‘We said 3:00 to 5:00, it’s only 4:58,’ Mr. Schue responded. ‘Just wait, my buddy Sam is gonna try out. He totally idolizes me,’ Finn said. ‘If not him then the other guy from the end of our performance during lunch.’ It took Blaine a good second to realise he was talking about him. 

‘Just face it Finn; you’re no longer the quarterback. You’re not the pied piper anymore. No one is going to follow you around thinking everything you do is cool,’ A new voice called out. It seemed to be a boy talking, but his voice was a lot higher and lacked the bit of masculism that most men owned.

Blaine took one, deep breath before he stepped inside the classroom. Most members of the New Directions were already walking towards him or standing up, but all stopped dead in their tracks when they saw him stand in the doorway nervously. 

'See? Told you he’d be here,’ Finn piped up, walking towards him to give him a high-five. ‘What’s up dude? Are you here to audition for Glee Club?’ When Blaine nodded and waved at the group nervously, Mr. Schue stood up with a wide grin. 

‘Well that’s great! What song are you gonna sing?’ Shit.

Blaine started searching in his backpack and pulled out a printed note with his doctor’s autograph at the bottom. He handed it to the teacher, hoping that he still would get accepted. Mr. Schue shot him a sympathetic glance before he smiled. ‘I understand. But that's what this club is all about; no exceptions. So I hereby welcome you to the New Directions!’

Blaine just smiled. He only vaguely processed his teammates high-fiving him and congratulating him. He only felt happiness inside his chest. He got in.

\--------> ~ <\-------

‘Blaine, wait up!’ Mr. Schue said as Blaine was walking up the stairs. Coach Sylvester followed closely behind, obviously angry with the Spanish teacher. ‘You’re weak Will!’ She said through gritted teeth. ‘You and I are done talking Sue!’ The coach huffed angrily and pushed Blaine aside along with lots of other students.

‘Blaine, you have to tell the others about your mutism. It’s not something you can hide, especially from your friends. I didn’t tell them yet, but questions are already going around the choir room. I can’t keep this from them forever, and neither can you. You didn’t even tell them your name yet; how are you figuring to tell them that without revealing that you can’t talk?’

‘Mr. Schue, can we talk to you? It’s kind of important,’ an Asian girl said as she gasped for air, leaning onto an Asian boy. Blaine recognised them both from Glee club. Mr. Schue motioned for him to follow them, so before he knew it he was running through the halls with a teacher and two kids he had never even spoken to before.

‘Tell me this isn’t true Rachel.’  
‘She could have died.’  
‘Well I didn’t send her to an active crackhouse. Besides, how did you guys find out anyways?’  
‘The Asian community is very tight.’

The conversation was confusing Blaine the slightest, but he had a feeling that he would have to get used to stuff like this now that he joined the Glee Club. 'I just don’t get it, you’re better than this,’ Mr. Schue commented with the amount of disappointment in his voice that matched that of a father after catching his son doing drugs. 

‘No, she’s an ambitious little freak who will do anything to hold on to her power,’ The girl commented, glaring at Rachel who was slightly taken aback by the three angry people standing in front of her. She shot a nervous glance towards the back of the class, where Blaine sat in a chair, obviously out of words to defend herself. 

Blaine was just very confused.

‘I just- I love you guys so much. I was wrong before, I don’t want any new members,’ Rachel said. Before she could finish her dialogue, the Asian boy interrupted her. ‘Then why was it no problem for gelboy over there to join?' He pointed to where Blaine sat. It was silent for a while, none of them knew what to say.

‘You read his file, didn’t you?' Mr. Schue said, narrowing his eyes at the girl sitting in front of him. The two Asian kids turned their heads toward the man in slight confusion. ‘Rachel, what is he talking about?’ When she stayed silent, Mr. Schue continued talking.

‘You knew that he wouldn’t be able to take away your amount of solos, so it was ok for him to join. But Sunshine seemed a threat to you. Well? Am I right or wrong?’ He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

‘No, it wasn’t because he wouldn’t get any solos, it was because he wouldn’t screw up our group dynamic. Sunshine is amazing, but what if she can also dance? Then your contribution to the New Directions would be even more insignificant than they already are now. I did this for you guys,’ Rachel said in the most innocent voice manageable. 

The two Asian kids just seemed even more confused. ‘How can you be so sure that the gelboy won’t get any solos?’ The boy asked. ‘Yeah, I mean, Mike can’t sing and he still got a solo once. How bad can he be?’ The girl said, pointing to the boy named Mike.

‘Hey!’ Mike piped up, putting his hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt. ‘Oh come on, you know it’s true,’ The girl said, rolling her eyes.  
‘Guys, this is not about Blaine not having a nice voice,’ Mr. Schue shot Blaine a questioning glance, probably to ask for permission to tell them. Blaine doubted for a moment. Sure, Rachel already seemed to know about his mutism, and didn’t care that much. So why would these two kids care about it? 

Letting out a long sigh, he nodded. ‘Oh, so his name is Blaine? Cool, then we can stop calling him gelboy. Santana came up with that name, by the way,’ Mike said, looking at Blaine apologetically. 

‘Yes, his name is Blaine. And he wasn’t able to tell you that for the same reason he can’t have solos. Not because he’s shy, but because…’ Mr. Schue paused for a tense moment, ‘he’s mute.’ Next thing Blaine knew, he was wrapped in a hug by the Asian girl.

‘I’m so sorry Blaine, that sounds awful,’ She said. When she finally let him go after a few seconds, she held out her hand for him to shake. ‘I’m Tina, by the way,’ She said with a smile, like the news she had just received didn't exist at all. He shook her hand. ‘Mike.’ 

They took the news much easier than expected.

\--------> ~ <\--------

‘Hi my name is Sunshine Corazon and I’ll be singing Listen by DreamGirls,’ The small girl who walked onto the stage in the auditorium said. ‘Broadway show first,’ Rachel said proudly, looking around the room to get some recognition. The whole group shushed her, while Puck just yelled ‘shut up!’ from the back of the auditorium. 

When Sunshine started singing, the whole room went silent for a moment. Everyone was taking in the amazing sound that the girl managed to get out of her throat. Rachel sat in the front row, her arms crossed over her chest, obviously jealous of Sunshine’s talent. Finn, who sat next to her, seemed to be in a dubio about enjoying the performance and backing up his girlfriend.

But when Sunshine hit a long, high note, the whole room went crazy. People yelled of encouragement at her, started clapping or abruptly stood up with a big smile on their faces. Blaine sat there, smiling, and whistled on his fingers when there was another impressive note.

The song ended, and everyone stood up and clapped. Even Rachel couldn’t help but clap and smile a bit. ‘Wow!’ Mr. Schue yelled, smiling bigger than he probably ever had in his entire life. ‘Welcome to the Glee Club!’ Sunshine smiled, and jumped down the stage to get congratulated by her new teammates.

‘And when is bowtie here going to sing for us?’ The hispanic cheerleader from the fight earlier asked, nodding her head towards Blaine. ‘Blaine doesn’t have to sing if he doesn’t want to,’ Tina defended. 

‘I know he doesn't have to sing, but we literally know nothing about him. We all have only just figured out his name because you told us. If he can’t sing, can he dance? I don’t want Nationals to get screwed up because we decided to take in a kid who can’t perform,’ Hispanic said, crossing her arms to her chest.

‘Santana, that was completely insensitive,’ The blonde cheerleader from the fight said. ‘You don’t know if he can’t dance.’   
‘And that is exactly my point! Now that we have Sunshine we are with twelve people, we don’t need a new member. So I think that we should let him try out before he can ‘just join’.’ The girl, Santana, piped up, giving Blaine a judging look. Murmurs of agreement were heard around the room.

Tina, Mike, Finn, Rachel and Mr. Schue started defending Blaine, while the rest of the group was arguing back to them. Blaine just grabbed a notebook from the pocket of his jacket and started writing. When he was done he threw the pen to the ground and held up the notebook. 

'I can dance, I was able to sing once, but I can’t anymore.'

The group looked confused when they read it, so he flipped the paper over so they could see the other side.

'I’m mute.'


	2. Episode 2; Britney/Brittany

Apparently Blaine had a thing for being called into Emma Pillsbury’s office. It was barely his second day at McKinley and he was already sitting on a fluffy chair in the clean room with an awkward look on his face. He fiddled with his hands and started picking on his nails. Not knowing why he was here, he looked around the office and started looking at random things. That was until his eye fell on a box filled with pamphlets, all neatly organised and labeled. 

He knew that he would love to have this woman clean his room.

He grabbed a pamphlet from the box and started reading it, just to distract himself from his anxiety. But the fact that it was one on how to deal with suicidal thoughts wasn’t helping much. He put it back down just as Miss Pillsbury came back. ‘Ah, Blaine, good to see you,’ she said, smiling kindly before sitting down in the seat in front of him.

Blaine just shot her a questioning look in return, hoping she would get the hint of him wanting to know what was going on. Miss Pillsbury nodded to herself, as if she remembered what she had brought him in for. ‘Oh, yeah, of course. Well, I heard that you told the Glee Club that you’re mute. How did it go?’ 

Blaine didn’t know what to say, even if he were able to talk. It had been… weird ever since he told them about his mutism. Some of them gave looks, probably wondering what caused him to stop talking. If he had just said that he actually can’t talk, and not that he once could, that would be a lot easier. But now the kids were offering him ways of helping him with his voice that seemed completely ridiculous to him. 

Others were less oblivious, but they treated him like he was a vulnerable piece of art that was about to be brought to a museum. Like he was this broken boy, one touch away from being broken. Of course it did feel nice sometimes when they cared for him, but he didn’t feel like it was fair what caused them to act that way. He wanted them to care for him because he was a person that people were able to love, not the one that should be taken care of in a certain way because they felt sorry for him.

So as an answer Blaine shrugged and made an expression that said: ‘it went okay, I guess’. Miss Pillsbury smiled and folded her hands. ‘Good, that’s good.’ She was nervous. It was obvious that she was hiding something, giving the teenager a clenching feeling in his stomach. 

‘So, there is something I should tell you-’ Before she could finish her sentence coach Sylvester came strolling into the room. ‘Good morning pillock, gay number two,’ she said with pride, looking from Blaine to Miss Pillsbury. The boy looked taken aback by the nickname the coach had given him, not knowing how she figured out his sexuality just by looking at him. Sylvester just looked at him and scoffed.

‘Oh come on, no heterosexual teenager would ever dress like an eighty-year-old toddler who fell into a olympic swimming pool filled with hair gel,’ She said, sarcasm dripping from her words. She stared eyeing his hair for an uncomfortable long amount of time. ‘Seriously, your hair is even worse than William’s.’

‘Why are you here Sue?’ Miss Pillsbury asked, clearly annoyed by the other woman’s presence. ‘Oh no reason, I was just here to recruit your little schoolboy for the cheerios!.’ 

Wait, what?

‘Wait, what?’ Miss Pillsbury said out loud, matching Blaine’s thoughts. ‘Yes, it would be great to have a second head bitch who won’t talk back but just adores me in beautiful silence. Also, Becky is having trouble keeping track of all of my cheerleaders’ failures to take advantage of that in the future,’ Coach Sylvester responded. All Blaine could hear was the part about him being silent the whole time.

He grabbed the notebook from the desk and started writing, handing it to Miss Pillsbury. ‘How does she know?’ There wasn’t any need to write down what he meant, it was clear in the context. ‘Blaine, I’m sorry, I think one of the Glee kids accidentally told someone. You know how those things go,’ The woman behind the desk responded with a worried tone. Blaine grabbed the notebook again and wrote as quickly as he could, hoping the answer that he thought would come wasn’t true.

‘Does the whole school know?’ The paper said. Miss Pillsbury gave a small nod. Blaine sat back in his chair with a distant look in his eyes, taking a deep breath to keep the tears from falling. ‘Cheer up Bowtie, the opportunity to raise yourself back up in the food chain is standing right in front of you. You don’t even have to cheer, just keep on a resting bitchface and all will be right.’

Blaine started writing again: ‘Do I have to wear one of those stupid outfits?’ Coach Sylvester looked at him with a judging glow in her eyes. ‘Judging by your stylist I don’t think you have the right to complain, but all right. You get to keep wearing those ridiculously tight pants but the bowtie has to go.’

After a bit of doubting, Blaine agreed. He didn’t have to cheer, he only had to watch from the sidelines and insult the cheerleaders by writing things down. He could live with that. Besides, right now he’d do anything to get rid of his new reputation as the mute kid. 

As he was walking down the halls with his head a bit low to avoid eye contact with people who were looking at him, he heard some people whisper. What they were saying exactly wasn’t clear, which was very frustrating. Blaine grabbed his i-pod and headphones and put them in his ears to avoid being confronted with his trauma.

He walked inside the choir room, ignoring the angsty stares and sat down in the back of the room with a lot of anger. He looked to his left with angry eyes, looking at all of the New Directions who were all looking back at him. Blaine grabbed a piece of paper from his pocket, one that he had written a few minutes before, and held it up for the whole room to see. 

‘Who told?’ It said

It was quiet. A bit too quiet. No one dared to say a word, let alone admit that they were the ones telling everyone. Blaine looked at Kurt, who sat next to him, and kept glaring at him with a hint of plead in his eyes. After a minute or so, Kurt snapped. ‘Okay! Okay! It wasn’t me, I swear. Now please stop giving me those puppy eyes.’

‘I think we all told someone from who we figured they would keep it secret,’ Tina piped up. The whole room nodded along. ‘I told my mother and Burt, but only because I was happy that you were joining,’ Finn said with a small smile. ‘We told some of the Cheerios!, but they are not the chatty type,’ Quinn defended, gesturing to Brittany, Santana and herself.

‘Except for that bitch Heather,’ Santana said with venom in her voice. Blaine gave her a frightened stare. She held up her hands in defense. ‘We didn’t tell her though, she might’ve been listening in on our conversation.’

Suddenly Mr. Schuester came walking back in, holding music sheets with a big smile on his face. ‘All right guys, let’s begin! Firstly I want to announce that Sunshine sadly has been transferred to Vocal Adrenaline.’   
‘Thanks Rachel,’ Mercedes said sarcastically, rolling her eyes, ‘we really could’ve used Sunshine’s voice, you’re the reason she left.’

Before Rachel could respond to that Mr. Schue interrupted her. ‘Now before we start a fight, who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?’  
‘He discovered America,’ Brittany said.  
‘Close, he did write an iconic chart topper, Sailing.’

‘I have a bad feeling about this lesson,’ Kurt whispered to Blaine. The other boy nodded with a frown before leaning back in his seat. ‘Never heard of him, don’t wanna hear about him,’ Tina said with a blank expression on her face. He had to admit, even though he thought he knew every song in existence by heart, Blaine had no idea who the guy was either.

‘Now some of you see the term ‘easy listening’ as a bad thing, but I’m going to let this music speak for itself. You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones- and you guys are really good at putting it out there. But really good music can also be controlled and retrained, it doesn’t have to attack an audience. It can let them come to you.’ Mr. Schue finished as he passed out the sheet music to the confused and bored faces of the group.

‘How can you get stuck between the moon and New York? They’re like a hundred miles away,’ Finn said as he passed out the papers to the ones behind him. Close Finn, close, Blaine thought.

‘Mr. Schue, if I may?’ Kurt asked, raising his hand. ‘I think I speak for all of us when I say that it’s not that we don’t love spending a week on this music, it’s just that as teens this isn’t the easiest music for us to relate to.’ He then started to make a dramatically long sentence to announce the name of a famous pop artist; Britney Spears. The whole group hummed and talked with agreement, cutting the teacher in front of them off guard.

‘No, no, no, I don’t think she is a very good role model.’  
‘But Mr. Schue, we kind of grew up with her.’  
‘She is literally the reason why I wanted to be a performer.’

‘I don’t wanna do Britney,’ Brittany said, making the whole group turn around to face her. ‘Why no Britney, Brittany?’ Kurt asked. ‘Because my name is also Britney Spears.’ All of the New Directions turned to each other with confused looks. ‘W-what?’ Mr. Schue asked. ‘What the hell is she talking about?’ Mercedes asked Blaine, who simply shrugged with just as much confusion as the rest of the group. 

‘My middle name is Susan, my last name is Pierce, that makes me Brittany S. Pierce. Britney Spears. I’ve always lived in Britney Spears’ shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope that all of you can respect that Glee Club is the place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears.’ 

‘Well, there you have it guys, no Britney Spears.’  
‘Thanks Britt, thanks a lot,’ Kurt piped up. ‘Leave Brittany alone,’ Santana defended, rubbing the other cheerios’ back. ’Thank you for understanding. It’s been a hard road.’

‘Okay, let’s talk about Michael Bolton.’

\--------> ~ <\--------

Blaine walked past Finn’s locker where the jock was putting his jacket away. He turned around when he heard his name, smiling when Finn motioned for him to come. ‘What’s up dude? I just saw that we have calculus together in a few minutes. Do you understand the homework?’ Blaine nodded, waiting for the other teen to continue. ‘Okay good, because I don’t. Care to help me out?’ The smaller boy nodded again with a friendly smile that said ‘sure’.

Suddenly Finn’s jacket was snatched out of his hands, making him yell with anger. ‘Hey! Give that back! I earned that!’ He said to the two jocks in front of him. ‘This jacket belongs to people who are actually on the team but you know what? We’re going to restyle it to represent the obvious duality in your sexuality,’ One of the jocks said as he ripped the jacket in half.

Finn let out an angry huff and tried to hit one of the guys, but smashing his fist into the locker instead. ‘Oh you’re trying to swing at me?’ ‘Ooh swing, huh?’ ‘Come on then, swing at me!’ ‘Come on!’ ‘Come on let’s go!’ Both jocks started yelling, trying to be intimidating by puffing out their chests and holding their fists up in a way that Blaine knew was of no use due to his boxing experience. 

He held Finn back from trying to make another hit and stood in front of him protectively. ‘Oh, now you need the help of a mute kid? You really do only hang out with losers!’ That comment made Blaine clench his fists and bite his bottom lip until he felt blood fill his mouth. He had to hold back, he didn’t want to give them what they wanted. But their faces were looking so punchable right now..

‘Sorry to interrupt,’ Artie said, wheeling between the four boys. ‘I’m actually glad you’re here to see this. Finn, I’m sorry for getting you kicked off the football team, I hope there’s no hard feelings,’ He said, holding out his hand. It was obvious that he did this to keep the rest of the boys from beginning a fight, and somewhere in his heart Blaine was grateful for that.

‘So what are you guys talking about?’ The two jocks started to look frustrated. ‘Dude take him!’ One of them yelled. ‘This wheelchair kid is in the way what if I knock him over or something?’ The other yelled back. ‘There’s something that’s not right about hitting a kid in a wheelchair man.’

They started to walk away. ‘The only thing saving you is my moral code. I don’t hit cripple people but we’ll be back!’ The first one yelled over his shoulder until he finally walked away. When they were out of sight, Finn groaned and grabbed his hand in pain. ‘Sorry about your jacket Finn,’ Artie said, picking it up from the ground. He tossed the clothing to the tall boy who sighed deeply. ‘It’s okay dude, they were right. I’m not on the team anymore so I shouldn’t have this. But it just holds so many memories man, I love football.’

Blaine pulled the torn jacket out of Finn’s hands and examined it. He grabbed his notebook and quickly wrote something down. ‘I can fix it,’ The paper said. 

That was the reason why Blaine sat in the back of calculus class behind Finn’s enormous body to hide the fact that he was sewing the jacket back together. Even during Glee Club at the end of the day he was still busy sewing, since he had to put his work away every five seconds because a teacher came too close.

He barely paid any attention to the extremely hot dentist in the middle of the room who explained something about blue capsules. No one even noticed what he was doing until he got one of the pills passed to him. ‘Why are you sewing in the middle of Glee Club?’ Mike, who sat in front of him, asked. Blaine shrugged, put the capsule in his mouth and got back to the sewing. 

The blue fluid that was inside started to crawl into his split lip, making the wound hurt more. He groaned slightly and traced his lip with his finger, only to find it covered in blood when he pulled back. Shit.

‘Blaine, your lip is bleeding,’ Tina said, gasping at the small line of blood that was flooding from his mouth and dripped onto his pants. ‘Oh, I forgot to mention that you shouldn’t take these when you have an open wound in your mouth,’ The dentist said, looking at Blaine with a bit of guilt. A bit too late for that sir.

‘I can give you an emergency cleaning to get the fluid out of your lip,’ He said in a tone that sounded as if he wanted to make up for something. ‘As for you three,’ he motioned towards Rachel, Artie and Brittany, whose teeth were completely blue, ‘I’ll get to you later.’ He motioned for Blaine to follow him. The teen stood up and walked after the man until they got to a small dental office.

‘I’m going to put you under a little anesthesia, since this might hurt. Want me to put on some music?’ Blaine nodded and sat down, listening to the radio playing Burning House by Cam. He closed his eyes when the mask was put over his mouth and relaxed until he felt himself slipping away into a deep dream.

It felt as if he was floating through the unimaginable wide land of flowers and high grass as the soft guitar intro was playing in the background. The soft sound of a calming fire was heard from a distance, but when he looked around there was nothing to see. He grabbed a rose from the ground and played with it between his fingers, not even feeling that one of its thorns cut his hand.

Blaine let out a deep breath and smelled the freshening air of the field filled with everything that seemed to only exist in movies and his dreams. The only place where he actually felt at ease was much more real now. The guitar tune came to the beginning of the song, and without even realising, Blaine started to sing.

He sang for the first time in years.

'I had a dream about a burning house

You were stuck inside

I couldn’t get you out

I lay beside you and pulled you close

And the two of us went up in smoke'

He closed his eyes and smelled the rose once again, but when he removed it from his nose the smell was replaced with an all too familiar nightmare. Fire. But somehow it felt comfortable this time. He opened his eyes to face the vision of his old house going up in flames.

He got close to the front door and slowly opened it, ignoring the burns it caused on his fingertips. When he looked inside, everything was on fire. He saw the couch, the old kitchen table and his father’s favourite reading chair. Everything slowly went up into flames, leaving ashes on the ground where it once stood.

Blaine looked at the wooden floor, wondering how he would get past all these flames without burning himself. He carefully put his foot on top of a small flame, being absolutely astonished when he saw the rest of the fire disappear in a circle around his shoes. He smiled and walked upstairs, not even wondering how the entire burning place made way for him to safely walk past.

'I’ve been sleepwalking

Been wondering all night

Trying to take what’s lost and broke

And make it right'

He gently opened the door to his bedroom and stepped inside. He breathed in the toxic air as he watched his belongings catch fire. His guitar was practically gone and all of his books, clothes and other belongings that were once his were covering every inch of his room, reminding Blaine of all that he had lost during that fateful day. Mostly the picture frame of him hugging his parents that lay broken on the ground hurt him. A small tear rolled down his cheek.

'I’ve been sleepwalking

Too close to the fire

But it’s the only place where I can hold you tight

In this burning house'

He heard sobbing come from the closet. He slowly opened it, only to face his past self crawling in on himself in the far corner, crying and holding onto a stuffed animal like his life depended on it. Blaine remembered that moment. It didn’t matter how childish it felt, the only thing that could comfort him was the smell of the thing that reminded him of home and safety. That thing happened to be a bunny, which he would hug during the night after his parents came to give him a kiss.

Blaine kneeled down and put his hand on his younger self’s shoulder, knowing that the fourteen-year-old boy wasn’t able to feel it. He sang the next part of the song, not knowing if it was to comfort himself or the kid he once was who sat in front of him.

'Love isn’t all that it seems

I did you wrong

I’ll stay here with you

Till this dream is gone'

A scream from the other side of the house made both the boys turn their heads towards the sound. ‘M-mom?!’ Young Blaine yelled, trying to stand up. He covered his mouth with his shirt as he ran out of the room, jumping over things he normally wouldn’t be able to do because of the adrenaline. Older Blaine went after him, knowing all too well what was about to happen.

He watched his younger self trying to smash open the door to his parent’s room with his foot from a small distance. 

'I’ve been sleepwalking

Been wondering all night

Trying to take what’s lost and broke

And make it right

I’ve been sleepwalking

Too close to the fire

But it’s the only place where I can hold you tight

In this burning house'

‘Mom!’ Younger Blaine screamed as the door finally broke loose. Both boys ran inside, only to see the scared look on their parent’s faces before the roof collapsed on top of the two adults. Young Blaine fell down, covering his head as the house around him began to fall too. He looked up at the pile of debris, and saw his mother’s desperate hand stick out of it as if she was trying to get to her son.

‘No!’ Both Blaines screamed in a long, gut-wrenching tone. They both fell down to their knees and stared at the place, not being able to do anything. That was until the young Blaine was pulled away by his older brother, who begged him to get out of the house. Older Blaine watched with tears in his eyes how his bleeding brother was dragging his younger self who was covered with ashes along the stairs. 

'Flames are getting bigger now

In this burning house

I can hold you somehow

In this burning house

Oh, I don’t wanna wake up'

‘They’re gone! They’re dead!’ Young Blaine screamed to his brother once they were outside. Older Blaine just fell down to his knees once again, looking at the remainders of his old house. That was the moment that he realised his younger self had just spoken the last words of his life.

'In this burning house'

Blaine woke up with a jolt. He immediately sat up in the dental chair, gasping for air. Reaching for the mask in front of his face, he felt that he was sweating. ‘Hey, are you okay?’ The dentist asked with a worried frown. Blaine just looked around in panic before running out, not even knowing what way he was going until he was finally outside. He heard the dentist yell after him, but he ignored the desperate calls.

He ran. He kept running until he was completely out of breath, and sat down at the edge of a river in the middle of the part. Taking a deep breath, he allowed himself to finally calm down. Everything he had seen had been real, and to see it that alive again was more than he could handle.

\--------> ~ <\--------

Cooper was worried. When he received the phone call from one of Blaine’s friends who told him in a worried ramble that his younger brother had panicked and ran away after an anesthesia dream, he immediately jumped inside his car and drove to the school. As he arrived he didn’t even bother parking his car in a decent way and rushed inside the building.

He asked one kid for directions towards the choir room and walked inside, anxiously looking around for the one who called him. About eleven kids stood up at the sight of him. ‘What happened? Where is he?’ Cooper asked in a rush as he walked further inside. 

‘We don’t know, he had a split lip and a blue capsule we had to take from the dentist made it hurt even more, so he was taken to get it closed up or something,’ a girl with glowing black skin said, looking around the room for backup. Everyone nodded along with her story.

‘How could he possibly panic when he’s at the dentist?’ The older brother asked, grabbing his phone to try and call Blaine. ‘That’s of no use, he left his phone and backpack here,’ a blonde cheerleader said. Cooper sighed deeply and put his phone back in his pocket. ‘Maybe he just freaked out from all of the needles and tools that had to be placed in his mouth,’ a brunette girl with bangs said.

‘No, I know Blaine. He has never been afraid of the dentist.’   
‘Maybe it isn’t all that serious,’ a boy in a wheelchair piped up, ‘he might have overreacted to something.’

Cooper had no words. Did they really not know what could happen if his younger brother freaked out? ‘You don’t know how serious this is, do you?’ The whole group questioningly shook their heads. ‘Didn’t Blaine tell you about his trauma?’

‘How was he supposed to? The kid can’t talk,’ a boy with a mohawk said. ‘That doesn’t mean that there wasn’t a time where he could,’ Cooper said with an annoyed tone. ‘My little brother was the most chatty kid I had ever met. He had more talent than probably anyone in this room. Singing used to be his life, don’t you think something horrible must’ve caused him to go mute?’ He looked around the room for an answer, but no one even gave a sign of agreement.

‘If this is really necessary for you to know before you help me, fine. I’ll tell you what happened. Around two years ago Blaine got beaten up at a school dance for being gay. Don’t worry, he wanted to be open about it so I’m allowed to say this. Our parents were so angry that once he got out of the hospital they stopped paying attention to anything but his safety. This must’ve been the reason why they didn’t notice the fire starting in the kitchen. Before we knew it, we were stuck inside a burning house. Blaine went for our parent’s room when he heard a scream, only for him to see them being crushed by debris.’

There was a long, deafening silence. Cooper felt tears rise up in his eyes. He roughly rubbed them away before continuing his story with anger in his voice. ‘Blaine was fucking fourteen years old and he had to watch both his parents die after he got beaten up. The last thing I have ever heard him say was this agonising scream that just keeps ringing in my head whenever I try to sleep. He screamed for his parents, yelling that they were dead with so much fear in his eyes.’ The older brother scoffed. ‘Fourteen. No kid should ever have to go through that much within only a week.’

When he looked up, he saw that the whole room was at the verge of tears as well. He stood up from the chair and looked around the group. ‘So, does anyone know how his trauma was triggered?’ A blonde cheerleader raised her hand. ‘When I was at the dentist, I had a Britney Spears vision. I was singing and dancing, it was awesome, I am super talented,’ she said.

‘Yes, very cool indeed. What does that have to do with this?’  
‘That happened because the sexy dentist put on a Britney song,’ she said, looking around the room to see if anyone knew what she was talking about. ‘So you mean that with Blaine there was a song playing that reminded him of what happened?’ a boy with a pretty high voice stated with a bit of a questioning look. The cheerleader nodded. 

‘Shit,’ Cooper muttered. ‘Hey, it’s gonna be okay, I promise. We’re gonna find him,’ a tall boy said as he stood up, looking around the room. ‘Arite and Mike, you’re gonna check the coffee shop where he always went to after school. Rachel and Quinn, go look for him throughout the school. If he’s not here, stay put in the choir room for if he comes back. Santana and Brittany, go look for him in the southern parts of the city. Puck and Mercedes will do the Northern part.’

All of the kids who were named stood back up with a nod and left the choir room. Only the tall boy, an Asian girl and a definitely gay boy were left together with Cooper. The Asian girl crossed her arms with a frown. ‘Is there another place where he could be?’ She asked worriedly. Cooper shook his head as he ran a hand through his hair. ‘He might’ve gone back to our apartment, but if he did I would’ve noticed him on the way here. 

‘I saw him walking through the park once,’ the small boy piped up. ‘He seemed very comfortable there, good chance that he came to that place to calm down.’  
Cooper took a glance towards the three remaining teens. ‘Let’s check it out then.’

\--------> ~ <\--------

‘Hey Cooper?’ The Asian girl, Tina was her name, apparently, asked. The ride in the car towards the park had been silent and quite awkward, everyone in it looked out of the window in the hope to see a sign of Blaine somewhere. Cooper looked in the rear view mirror with raised eyebrows. ‘What?’

‘Was all that you said about Blaine true, how he had more talent than any of us?’ She had a small glint of amazement in her eyes. Cooper smiled softly and grabbed his phone. They were standing still in front of a red light anyways, so it didn’t matter. As he searched for a while, he almost got tears in his eyes from thinking about how Blaine always wanted to be on broadway. Unless he can use his voice again, that dream has gone to waste.

When he found the video, he clicked on it and passed his phone to the back of the car where the three teens were seated. Tina pressed play and the voice of Blaine filled the silence of the car. ‘Hello, my name is Blaine Anderson, I’m fourteen years old and today I will be singing Hopelessly Devoted to You by Olivia Newton-John from the movie Grease.’   
‘His voice is already so deep,’ Kurt said, looking at the video in awe. Cooper chuckled softly. ‘Yeah, he was pretty early with that. But wait, the music is starting.’

All three of the teenagers’ jaws dropped in amazement when they heard Blaine sing. Even Cooper himself felt chills go up and down his arms from the sound of his brother’s voice. He hadn’t listened to that video in so long since it always made his heart ache for a bit. 

When the video ended, Finn handed the phone back to the man driving the car. It was quiet once again, none of them knowing what to say. ‘That was… wow,’ Finn said. ‘No wonder he wanted to join Glee club, he missed the one thing he could put all of his emotions in,’ Tina said.   
‘Not his voice, it was music,’ Kurt spoke softly as he looked at the trees passing by. 

‘He wanted to be on broadway,’ Cooper remarked, looking at the three teens in the back of the car. ‘He wanted to sing every night in front of a huge audience, make them all feel the music and the emotion in it just as much as he did. But after the fire he just… gave up. He knew that a part of him was missing, not only his voice. He missed the feeling he got from music. That’s the reason why he joined your club. Not in the hope to sing again, but to do the one thing he loves the most.’

The car pulled up on the sidewalk in front of the park. As all four of them stepped out of the car, the two cheerleaders ran up to them. ‘Found him yet?’ The hispanic one asked, a bit out of breath. ‘No, you neither I figure?’ Kurt looked behind the two cheerleaders as if Blaine were to pop up from behind them at any time. Both of them shook their heads. 

The Asian boy and the kid in the wheelchair also came up to the group from the other side. ‘Is he here?’ The wheelchair kid asked, motioning his hand towards the gates of the park. ‘We think so,’ Cooper responded, ‘we hope so.’

After walking through the park for what felt like ages, Finn slapped Cooper on his shoulder, pointing to a figure sitting at the edge of a river when the older man turned to face him. Relief coursed through his veins when he saw Blaine sit at the edge, curled in on himself and slowly rocking his body back and forth like he always did after a nightmare.

Although other people might think that the fear everyone felt was overreacted, as if they had lost a four year old child at the playground, the whole group knew that it was important to find Blaine back. The whole point of Cooper being stressed was to show how much damage the kid had to endure throughout his life. It was too much for it to be safe.

Cooper walked down the small hill and stopped a few feet away from his little brother. ‘Hey squirt,’ he chuckled. Blaine sniffed and turned his head around. His bottom lip was bleeding and his eyes were red and puffy from all of the crying. ‘Mind if I sit here?’ He nodded weakly and scooted over a bit to make place on the small dry spot.

‘Why the river?’ The older brother asked, staring at the water that almost touched the tips of his shoes. Blaine shrugged, putting his bare feet into the water. He must have taken his shoes off when he got here, since he and Cooper used to play in the mud when they got here as kids. 

‘It reminds you of mom and dad, doesn’t it?’ The younger brother nodded and smiled sadly. He pointed at a flower in the middle of the river; a waterlily. Those flowers used to be their mother’s favourite. ‘Ah, I see. But I know a place where you also can calm down and distract yourself. At home. Your toes are already freezing, you might catch a cold out here.’

Blaine grabbed his notebook and a pencil from his pocket. He wrote something down and gave it to his brother. Cooper scoffed slightly. ‘I know that you’re not a child, Blaine. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have to take care of you. Not only am I the last family member you have, you are the last person I care about. But look behind you,’ the older man pointed at the seven Glee kids who stood watched the scène.

‘A brand new family is waiting for you here, they care about you enough to search all of Lima and to be honest,’ he got close to his younger brother’s ear, ‘I’m pretty sure that the scarf kid has a crush on you,’ he whispered, making the smaller boy blush. ‘Life’s not over Blaine, a whole new one is just about to begin. Do you really want to waste this opportunity by sitting in the middle of the park by yourself while almost freezing to death?’

Blaine looked up at the kids behind him and smiled. ‘Not only a new life, but a new journey!’ Tina said with a kind smile. ‘Because we are going to kick ass at regionals,’ Finn smirked. ‘And then sectionals,’ Kurt oppered. ‘And then nationals,’ Mike said. ‘And then all over again!’ Tina yelled happily.

‘Now that we say it out loud it sounds pretty boring,’ Brittany said. ‘Not if we put music into it,’ Santana smiled. 

'Hey Jude, don’t make it bad

Take a sad song and make it better

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better'

When Santana and Cooper finished the first chorus, Kurt and Tina joined in. 

'Hey Jude, don’t be afraid

You were made to go out and get her

The minute you let her under your skin

Then you begin to make it better'

Suddenly Quinn, Rachel, Mercedes and Puck also came walking to the side of the river, leaning against the bridge that hung over it.

'Oh-oh-oh, and anytime you feel the pain

Hey Jude, refrain

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

For well you know that it's a fool

Who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder'

When Blaine finally stood to his feet and hugged his older brother, the whole group had started singing. Where exactly the music came from, he had no idea. But it felt good. He felt safe again.


	3. Episode 3; Grilled Cheesus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of Klaine fluff ;))

From all of the weird things Blaine had seen in his life, this had to be the worst. Was it really true that Finn Hudson, the former Quarterback and most popular guy of the school, was coming out? No, it couldn’t be true. But it was pretty clear from the singer’s answer to the statement of Puckerman. ‘Oh my God, he’s coming out,’ the other boy with the mohawk had said. 

When someone responds with: ‘Well yes, there is a man who has sort of recently come into my life,’ you’d think that it was a way to tell the group that he was gay.  
‘And that man is Jesus Christ,’ Finn finished. Oh. Well that took a twist.   
‘That’s way worse,’ Puck said, looking out weirded at Finn’s announcement. That was nothing compared to Rachel’s face, whose jaw was practically on the floor. 

‘And I know there’s others in here who dig him too,’ Finn continued. Quinn smiled happily, along with Mercedes. She looked at Blaine to see if he approved of the idea as well. Blaine just raised his eyebrows. He never had anything against the church or religion, so he didn’t mind. Although he rather didn’t want to go to a place where people come together to pray. Not because he was afraid that they’d disapprove of him because he was gay -in fact, he couldn’t care any less about that- but because all of his faith in God had disappeared ever since the fire. If God actually existed, why didn’t he save Baine’s parents that night?

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he missed all of the things the Glee club said, except for when Puck stood up to get his guitar. ‘At this time, I’d like to continue my streak of doing only songs by Jewish artists. When he started playing, Blaine immediately recognised the song. Only the good die young, by Billy Joel. The whole room was dancing along with the song, yelling in some phrases every once in a while. The only person who sat alone was Kurt. He sat on his phone, looking bored by the song. 

Blaine smiled to himself and cocked his head to the side like a puppy. He walked over to Kurt, smiling softly and lifting him up from his seat. Kurt seemed hesitant at first, not dancing along with the rest of the group. But when Blaine started to hold both his hands and shake them along to the song while jumping, he couldn’t help but smile.

Blaine felt pretty good about himself when the song was over. He had gotten the bored, gay kid to dance along to music by a religious person. Internally giving himself a pat on the shoulder, he sat back down in his seat next to Kurt along with the rest of the group who seemed to be pretty excited about this week’s assignment. Spirituality? Blaine must’ve dozed off when that was written on the board.

\--------> ~ <\--------

It had been second, maybe third period when Blaine heard the news. Well, hearing it was a big word. It hadn’t been told to him, he had overheard Santana and Brittany talk about it during biology. He wasn’t paying attention anyways, so he turned around to look at the two. He raised his eyebrows with a bit of fear in his eyes, waiting for one of the girls to confirm it.

‘Okay gelboy, first of all, eavesdropping on someone’s conversation is invading their privacy. Second, yes it’s true,’ Santana said, her face dropping at the last statement. ‘Wait, what is true?’ Brittany asked, looking between the other two with confusion. ‘That Kurt’s dad is in the hospital,’ Santana clarified.   
Blaine wrote a word inside the girl’s notebook. ‘Why?’ it said. ‘A heart attack, at least that’s what we heard when Mr. Schue was talking to Miss Pillsbury. He’s being held in a coma, we don’t know more than that either.’

‘I wonder why Kurt’s dad is going to die,’ Brittany piped up. ‘I mean, Kurt is a unicorn and the unicorns decide when someone deserves to die like when my uncle stepped on his cat’s tail. Unicorns won’t kill other unicorns’ fathers.’

No matter how weird that sounded, Brittany kind of had a point. Blaine had seen how careful Kurt was with food. Always making sure he got all of the right vitamins and other chemicals that made his skin clear and shine, so he must’ve paid attention to his father’s health as well. If food and lifestyle isn’t the problem, then what is? If God really was real, why did he make the kid who lost his mother live in fear of losing his father too? 

He walked out of the classroom when the bell rang at the end of the day, speeding into the classroom with bigger and faster steps than he had ever taken. When he got to the choir room, there was no one else there except for Kurt, who sat on a seat by himself, hugging his bag close to his chest. 

‘Hey Blaine,’ he said softly. Blaine sat down next to him, giving him a reassuring smile and pat on the back. There had never been a time where he missed his voice this much. He would do anything at that moment to try and say something to Kurt even though it wouldn’t help the boy, just to make clear that he cared. That he cared for him. 

‘I just don’t get why,’ Kurt said, looking at the blank wall in front of him. ‘I had told him to watch his lifestyle but he would never listen. Only when I cook dinner I’m in control of what he eats, so I try to make him eat as healthily as possible. But why didn’t he just listen to me? Maybe if I pushed a bit harder he wouldn’t have gotten his heart attack.’

Blaine stared at the other boy in shock, shaking his head to tell him that he was wrong, that in no way it was his fault. He quickly pulled out his phone, opening a tab that he had searched just a couple of minutes earlier and showed it to Kurt. He zoomed in on a small part of the article that existed of only a few short sentences, making clear what he wanted the other boy to read. 

Males get heart attacks more often than females.  
Stress can be a main cause.  
Age.  
Can be a family condition.  
Blood Pressure too high.  
Too much cholesterol in blood.

‘What are you trying to say?’ Kurt asked, shaking his head in confusion. Blaine scrolled a bit up, showing him the title of the small paragraph. ‘Main causes of heart attacks,’ the other boy read out loud, his eyes filling with tears. He sniffled softly as Blaine searched for his phone number and texted him something.

‘It’s not your fault.’ ~Blaine

Kurt smiled softly as he read the text over and over again, seeming a bit overwhelmed by it. ‘Sometimes I think you were meant to be mute, Blaine,’ he said, looking over at the gelled boy who smiled at him with curiosity in his eyes. ‘No one could’ve said it like you did.’

There was a silence between the two where Kurt only cried softly and Blaine rubbed his hand over the boy’s shoulder. When the rest of the New Directions came walking in, they both stood up. While Kurt was thanking everyone who walked over to him to say sorry for what happened, Blaine took out his phone to check a text he got from Tina.

‘Couple goals! :))’ ~Tina

He wheezed quietly and looked over at the Asian girl who grinned back at him. ‘Shut up,’ he mouthed. After a short argument with Kurt, Finn was allowed to sit down. He tried to rub his hand over his brother’s back, but it just got shoved away with a shake of a finger. 

‘Hey guys,’ Mr. Schue said as he walked inside. ‘All of our thoughts are with Kurt and it’s kind of hard to focus on anything else-’ He got cut off by Mercedes. ‘Mr. Schue? I’ve been struggling to figure out what to say to Kurt all day. Now I realise I don’t want to say it but I want to sing it.’ She got called up front by Mr. Schue and started singing.

At the end of the song, Kurt was once again on the verge of tears. His voice shook when he spoke. ‘Thank you Mercedes, your voice is stunning, but I don’t believe in God.’  
‘Wait, what?’ Tina asked, sitting back down in her seat. 

‘You all have professed your beliefs, I’m just stating mine. I think God is kind of like a Santa Claus for adults. Otherwise God is kind of a jerk, isn’t he? I mean he has made me gay and then have his followers go around telling me it’s something I chose, as if someone would choose to be mocked every single day of their life. And right now I don’t want a heavenly father. I want my real one back.’

That small dialogue hit home for Blaine. Before he turned mute he had gotten beaten up by some bullies at school. Not even two weeks after that he lost both his parents and his ability to talk. If God really existed, he had a lot to make up for. Not only for Blaine’s life, but for millions of others. While there are kids praying that they get an expensive christmas present, there are other kids on the other side of the world praying for food that night. Only one of their prayers is heard, which is not the one that was most important. That’s why Blaine stopped believing in God. Or else he would have to be disappointed every time, and he would be angry at someone whom he isn’t even sure exists.

‘But Kurt, how can you be so sure? I mean, you can’t prove that there’s no God,’ Mercedes said softly. ‘You can’t prove that there isn’t a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs but it seems pretty unlikely, doesn’t it?’ Kurt shot back.

‘Is God an evil dwarf?’ Brittany asked. Blaine looked at her and shook his head with a tight smile. ‘We shouldn’t be talking like this. It’s not right,’ Quinn piped up. ‘I’m sorry Quinn. You can all believe whatever you want, but I can’t believe in something I don't. I appreciate your thoughts, but I don’t want your prayers.’ With that, Kurt slowly turned to leave the room.

Blaine doubted for a moment until he also stood up, jogging after the boy. ‘Blaine, wait!’ Mr. Schue tried to call him back. There was a female voice, probably Tina’s, that spoke up. ‘Just leave them be, let’s just start with the class.’

There had been a lot of moments where Blaine wished that he was able to talk. A few minutes earlier, for example, when he thought that the thing he wanted to say back then was the most important. Apparently it wasn’t. Even without words he managed to get his message across, maybe even better than he could if he were able to talk. But now, it was different.

How was he supposed to calm someone down from a panic attack without his voice?

Kurt, please look at me. 

The entire bathroom was empty, so the only sound in the room was Kurt’s irregular breathing and occasional sobs. The gelled boy tried to get his message across by cautiously grabbing Kurt’s chin and pushing it up to face him. His wet, blue eyes were filled with red veins and his eyelids were puffy. The boy sobbed once more, finally daring to look Blaine in his eyes.

It’s okay, everything will be okay. Just breathe.

Blaine softly rubbed his thumb over Kurt’s cheek, wiping away a fresh tear. He let the corners of his lips slightly go up to give a sad smile, but genuine. He put Kurt’s hand on top of his chest and slowly breathed in and out, making sure to make his lungs fill with a lot of air while doing so. The other boy seemed to know what he meant and tried to breathe together with him, slowly calming down.

It took about five minutes until everything was quiet, except for the occasional sob that came from Kurt’s mouth. His throat hitched as he looked back up at Blaine, smiling with new tears in his eyes. He flung his hands around Blaine’s neck, pushing his head deep into his gelled hair.

‘Thank you,’ he whispered over and over, ‘thank you so much.’


End file.
